This Little Light of Mine

You’ll often see on Fundie Christian pages, or posted by Fundie Christians on FB questions about atheism/non belief such as “without God why be good?” and others of that ilk…
What they don’t seem to understand is that that particular question says more about them than any atheist or non-believer.
In essence what they’re saying is “I need to be kept in line by the promise of reward/punishment. If I didn’t have that I’d go nuts and do everything I want to do but don’t.”
Having been brought up Catholic to Fundie to Hypocritical-Christian-in-name-only-but-hey-I’m-forgiven, I feel like I’ve got an interesting perspective on things.
I’ve seen and experienced the inner workings and was taught the lingo.
We were Catholic til I was 8.
My first school was a private Baptist school, then a Catholic one for second and third grade.
When my brother’s leukemia relapsed and my parents joined Amway we became Fundie.
I went to Fundie school where I was taught to look over my shoulder for demons, received Jesus into my heart for the first time (in my life I’ve probably asked him to live there no less than 20 times because I was never confident he was actually there), and began waking up every night in a cold sweat having panic attacks about the impending Armaggedon.
I failed math in 4th grade so I got to spend a second fun-filled year with Mrs. Ball.
I never told my parents about what she taught us, because I knew there was no way they’d be able to save me from the violence of what was going to happen to us poor Christians (this was 1984/85).
As a matter of fact, I stayed with Mrs. Ball and her family a couple times while my brother was in the hospital and my dad was on duty (he was in the Navy)…
and it was there I noticed something strange.
Mrs. Ball would rail against he evils of TV and rock music like the best fire and brimstone preacher at school, and yet at home both her teenage boys listened to rock music.
They watched movies that were rated PG(!), and wore blue jeans!
See the thing is Fundies, and indeed all Christians have a safety net, and it’s one that frankly has annoyed me whole life-even when I WAS a Fundie.
Ask Jesus in your heart, ask God for forgiveness…all done, all better.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve murdered people, it doesn’t matter if you’ve hurt children.
The people you victimized don’t even have to forgive you, if you ask God for forgiveness, you’re forgiven…you don’t have to mean it five minutes after you asked, just so long as you did it at the time.
Then, if you’re a murderer, or you’ve hurt somebody, you can sit there smug as a bug because it doesn’t matter if your victims forgive you.
God did, and you get to go to heaven. If your victim committed suicide because of what you did, they DON’T get to go to heaven.
Now, isn’t that nice?
The thing about being a non-believer and/or atheist is that you don’t have a safety net.
You don’t murder people because-get this…
Oddly simple concept.
You don’t abuse children for the same reason- IT’S WRONG.
It’s interesting to me that the older I get the easier it is to embrace logic over fear, and the incredible peace that comes from being as non-religious as possible.
I haven’t woken up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat in years, I don’t fear the wrath of a deity.
I never understood the idea of a God who would allow good, decent people to go to hell simply because they didn’t believe in him.
I know there are many Christians who are also bothered by that concept, but shrug it off and terrorize all their friends and neighbors with the concept of hell so that they won’t be without them in heaven.
When my daughter was a baby we had her baptized in Ex-Asshole’s Grandma’s church (I loved his Grandma), Southern Methodist.
My very Catholic Aunt B called me up verrrrry upset telling me that E MUST be christened in the Catholic church. That if god-forbid something happened and she died as an infant and wasn’t christened that she’d be damned to hell…
Terrified, I did it as soon as I left Asshole.
Can you imagine?
What happened to all the babies who died before their parents had the chance to christen them?
Can you imagine being a parent and living with that kind of guilt?
And yet…when Boo and Keylime came along no one said anything.
And yet…my boys are pretty decent people.
Boo has noticed the hypocritical behavior of the Christians/Believers he’s gone to school with.
The ones who hate and make fun of kids who are different.
But hey, they’re saved right?
They’ll go to heaven.
Meanwhile, he and Keylime will do their best to be  decent people because it’s the RIGHT thing to do.
…and if God would send us to hell for that…
then I promise, he’s no God I’d want to spend eternity with anyways.



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