Chaos

The heat is taking it’s toll on Keylime and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Our house doesn’t have air-we put in a window unit upstairs, and my car doesn’t have air…it’s 23 years old.
I’m doing everything I can to keep him cool, the ceiling fans are on 24/7, and there are frozen washcloths in the freezer but he’s still quick to tantrum in this kind of weather.
His raccoon shadows are back too, regardless of whether or not he’s had gluten.
I’m excited for him to start back his classes on the 9th, even if it’s only 2 days a week, it’s 2 days spent in air conditioning.
(and two days I don’t have to fight with him)
I worry about him as he gets older and will definitely encourage him to maybe live in Northern California where it’s cooler, or in a house with air conditioning.
I know that no one does well in the heat, but folks who run hot to begin with have it worse I think.
And I’ll admit, I haven’t been my most patient when he gets like this…
what’s the line?
“These are the times that try men’s souls…”
Yeah, my soul is being tried…
And then there’s the whole thing with Syria…
There’s only so much I can devote my time and opinions to.
I will help the refugees through Mercy Corps as much as I can, but otherwise I will stay out of it as much as possible.
I can’t function when I’m angry all the time, and there have been occasions lately where I wonder if I should get fitted for my tinfoil hat.
And I read all these posts on FB about how the government can’t be trusted, and I want to trust.
I want to trust that Obama who spoke out against Iraq isn’t George Bush II.
I want to believe when he says “no boots on the ground”.
I have enough going on in my day-to-day that anymore chaos makes me want to grip my skull and hide under my bed.
I have Keylime who I have to teach how to navigate people, places, and things.
Then I have Boo who is starting his sophomore year and I have to help loosen the apron strings so that he doesn’t fall on his face when he gets his first taste of independence.
Do I worry about the state of the world?
Yes…but there’s only so much time in the day and I spent a good part of my childhood suffering from anxiety attacks because I thought Russia was going to nuke us in my sleep.
I’m not going to surrender my adulthood to it as well.
It’s like the serenity prayer.
Can I change the fact that the Koch brothers buy our representatives?
Nope.
Can I volunteer to help someone running against and vote out mine if he allows himself to be bought?
Yup.
Can I send help to the Syrian refugees?
Yup.
Can I make sure I raise well-informed, empathetic, good people to go out into the world and help make it better?
Yup.
Once they’re grown can I throw myself full-tilt into whatever causes I believe in?
Yup.
Then so be it…
Some things have to be put on the shelf until tomorrow.

Advertisements

Thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s