Surreal

When I was a senior in high school I had two very close friends.
M was my first gay friend,and A had one arm and was incredibly creative. They were the only “normal” things in my life at that time.
Today I found out A died, and for all sakes and purposes it looks like suicide.
What otherwise healthy 37 y/o woman dies in her sleep?
We’d gotten back in touch through FB when she joined a couple months ago, and truth be told, some of her messages creeped me out a bit.
I knew she had problems, and I tried to be nice…but sometimes it was just too much.
I’m having trouble reconciling my grief for the girl I knew and loved dearly with the woman I tried to avoid.
Feeling more than a little guilt that I didn’t “try harder”.
I dunno…
It’s odd isn’t it?
RIP A, I hope your next incarnation is happy and healthy.

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One thought on “Surreal

  1. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. You did your best and that’s all you can do. Whatever happened to her remember, she’s at peace now. Love you ❤

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