Is the week over yet?

I’m trying not to be negative about this week, but growth is never fun or comfortable for anyone…
and this has been a week of growth and eye opening that I would’ve probably been happier sleeping through.
We’ll start with Boo…
On Tuesday he got his response from CSSSA (California State Summer School of the Arts).
We knew that it was an incredibly long shot for him to get accepted into the Animation program on the first try, particularly when they only choose one out of three applicants…
Still, it was sad when he got his letter saying “thanks, please try again next year”. They also mentioned that over 1,300 people applied for the 500 spots in the entire camp. Knowing that 799 people got the same letter made it a little easier to deal with, and now that he knows what they want he can practice and be ready to apply for next year. I think the best part of the letter was “I know you’re probably disappointed, but don’t be deterred”…made him feel good.
His self-esteem has been taking a hit the past couple months. He’s been angsty, overly cranky for no apparent reason and overly down on himself.
Thursday it came to a head and I sat him down to figure out WHAT THE FUCK is going on.
He goes to a charter school because of bullying he experienced in public school in first and third grade…we’ve had issues with a couple kids at the charter, but they’ve been nipped in the bud, and it was nothing like what he experienced at the public school.
Until (as I found out on Thursday) this past year. He’s asked a couple times to change schools but never gave me a real reason why.
Turns out there’s a kid at the charter-who was expelled from public school for having a knife in his backpack (“it was my friends I didn’t know he put it there!”) who throws out words like “fag” and “gay” as insults. Everytime I hear him, I call him on it because that’s no way to talk…I’ve also heard racial slurs come out of his mouth and according to Boo, once was in the presence of an African American boy who attends the Robotics class.
I found out that last year he kept a “Gay List”. He wrote down everyone’s name and anytime they did something that he considered “gay” they got a check next to their name. Boo and one of his friends stole it and destroyed it…the kid made another and put multiple checks next to Boo’s friend’s name. This year he screamed “Faggot!” out of his car window after school to another boy. He tell Boo “you’re so gay. You know you want me…” and other things that make Boo uncomfortable, and when Boo would respond (typically over-the-top or with cursing) he would be called “creepy” and told he’s retarded…and yet when he tells the kid what he’s saying is fucked up the kid says “I’m only joking”
He’s threatened to slap the shit out of another boy for talking to his sister and uses the boys name as an insult.
He got into a physical altercation with that boy and the Regional Director had to stop it.
When a girl was trying to remove some fuzz from his hair and he kept ducking, Boo stepped in and held his arms so he couldn’t move (yes, we had the “WTF did you get involved?” conversation.) When the fuzz was removed Boo’s head was shoved into a wall and he was told “Don’t you fucking touch me!”
His girlfriend told Boo that she’d pay money to see him and Boo make out.
Boo said he’d rather be butt raped by Satan.
On Thursday the kid started up in a text message to Boo about not talking to his girlfriend and Boo responded with “Go fuck yourself with a hairy dildo”…
Not his shining moment, but fairly creative I think.
The kid then tells Boo that he curses too much and threatened to tattle on him to me. Then he went on to say that because he’s studying psychiatry he can tell that Boo has mental problems,and is passive/aggressive.
He told Boo that cursing is an early sign of Tourette’s and/or mental retardation.
He was told that he better leave certain girls alone because their always complaining to him about Boo and one in particular (that Boo can’t stand and has nothing to do with anyways) wants to punch him in the face.
On Thursday Boo showed me all this…
I was livid…and it’s still so hard for me not to write this kid off as a complete POS loser.
Then I asked him why no one has told any of the teachers…
He said they wanted to try and handle it on their own.
I asked him if he wanted to talk to Keylime’s counselor about how to deal with this situation, and the look he gave me was heartbreaking.
I asked him “Is it because you think the Dr. will tell you that you really are retarded or have Tourette’s?
He nodded and closed his eyes.
What do you do with that?
How as a parent do you tell your child, who for all sakes and purposes is a pretty awesome person-someone you’d like to know even if they weren’t your kid, that the idiot who made him feel so bad is just that? That it has nothing to do with Boo or the other boys and everything to do with that kid’s own issues?
I responded in a text to the kid and let him know that I’m more than aware of my son’s cursing and that I would be copying/pasting everything and presenting it to the Regional Director and to the School Director if need be. I told him that I’d much rather hear cursing than “fag”, “gay”, and various racial slurs.
Then, I did just that. I copy/pasted everything, called my EF (education facilitator) and let her know what was happening, I told Boo to talk to the other boys and see if they’d be willing to tell the Regional Director (Principal), and I’m hopefully meeting with him on Monday, or sometime this week.
Thursday at midnight Boo got a text from the kid’s girlfriend “you told your mommy????”
I told him not to respond.
No matter what, I don’t want him saying anything more to either of them.
(Worst time EVER…Monday starts the STAR testing…of course)
Boo was pleased when I texted the kid, but started feeling a bit down when he realized that everything he said would also be seen…
I told him that this is why I need him to tell me BEFORE things get this bad.
Statistically speaking, we probably have at least one gay student at our school, and what that boy with his slurs has been allowed to do is create a hostile learning environment. It’s not right and it not fair.
…and it’s going to stop…
MEANWHILE…In Aspyland:
This morning Keylime decided that he needed a piece of cord.
He chose the vacuum cleaner cord, not knowing:
a) that it was the vacuum cleaner cord
and
b) that it was plugged in
Amazingly enough he wasn’t hurt, and now there’s a new rule in our house: he’s not allowed to cut ANYTHING unsupervised…
Then he got on his power wheels and almost fell into our duck pond first time out.
Moose took the two of them to a pool party for a friend that Boo’s had since they were babies.
I told him that I need to stay home today…

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