Nostalgia

When I was in high school in South Carolina, there was only one college I had any intention of attending.
The Savannah College of Art and Design.
I wanted to have a career at Hallmark writing and illustrating cards.
Or writing and illustrating children’s books.
Or both at the same time.
My Junior Year I was going to apply to attend one of their summer workshops.
Amazingly, my father was okay with it. I had everything in place…
And then I found out that during the time I’d be gone, my boyfriend who was in Air Force Boot Camp would be coming home for a week before he got shipped off to wherever he would end up.
He was my world after my mom died…and I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again.
I sat on my application to the summer workshop.
I didn’t know what I was going to do.
Finally, I decided that I’d go the summer between my Senior year and College.
The day my application would’ve been due I found out that my boyfriend was kicked out of boot camp. He’d skitzed out, (or as later made sense) reacted to some bad LSD.
He was put in the mental ward and eventually sent home…
By the end of summer I was pregnant.
My father told me I wasn’t allowed to have an abortion.
My boyfriend told me I wasn’t allowed to put “his child” up for adoption…
I moved out of my dad’s house, because I knew that as much as he would prevent an adoption, my boyfriend would never come see the baby unless she was right in front of him.
My daughter was born two weeks before my senior prom.
Moose thinks that part of why I’m working so hard to help Boo accomplish his goals is because my own dreams were denied.
I think he’s right. I think that’s also why sex ed in our house is no holds barred.
If the boys have questions they get real, age-appropriate answers…no “god blesses a man and woman and they get married and have a baby” bullshit like I was fed.
And if it’s too embarrassing for them, they have resources for finding their answers.
Today I bought my first sketchbook in many, many years.
I also bought colored pencils-they’ve always been my favorite medium.
Turns out all the research into drawing and animation we’ve been doing are proving helpful for my art as well.
I might toy with taking an illustration class at the local community college this fall…
If anything manifests from there…who knows.
Dunno if I’ll even have time for the class right now.
But I tell ya, holding the pencils feels really good.

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One thought on “Nostalgia

  1. I may not comment, but I want you to know I read (no, devour) each & every one of your entries. You are such a good writer Khristina…& I get so much out of reading your ‘heart’. Thank you for being so open!

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