Deja Vu with a View

Found out today that one of my young female relatives has found herself in a situation much like I found myself in at 18.
Unlike me though, she was in denial, and only found out a few weeks ago that she is due in February.
I’m not really clear on what her immediate family is doing other than to tell her “we’re behind you in whatever you decide”…
I hate that phrase because it’s the ultimate cop-out.
At a time when the future is so unclear, when everything is confusing, when you know your family is disappointed, when you’re mad at yourself and at the boy, when you’re staring at what could have been your future and watching it slip through your grasp, when you’re trapped in that space of child/adult…
My god, the last thing you need is to be told they trust you to decide the rest of your life all by yourself…because that’s what having a baby, bringing a child into the world is about.
It’s about the rest of your life, because until the day you die, that child will be a part of you…whether you raise them or not.
That is not a decision for a scared young girl to be making on her own.
That is not a time for shaming, or judgement, or horror stories, or religious bullshit.
What’s called for at that time, what is absolutely necessary, is compassion without ego and non judgement.
Children make mistakes, senior citizens and everyone in between make horrible, “my-god-if-I-could-only-turn-back-time” mistakes…
The last thing they need at that moment is for those they depend on to know better than themselves to turn around and cop-out.



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